Monday, December 14, 2009
"Evil Tiger"
At every Christmas party you go to this season people will talk about Tiger Woods. You walk in a room and people talk about Tiger, you go to the next room and it's more Tiger talk. Men will huddle in small groups and talk about Tiger Woods. Inevitably some woman will state that "if her man acted like Tiger she would bash out his windows too." This remark will be met with the sound of forced laughter. All seem to agree that Tiger will go on Oprah, claim he is a sex addict, have a good cry and go back to golf. America will forgive you of anything if you put the word "addict" in front of it. (Hello Rush, Brett Favre, Michael Jordan etc) This is why Mike Vick was in so much trouble, he could not claim he was "addicted" to fighting dogs. He just seemed cruel. At the Christmas party I was out last night we were discussing Tiger when an idea occurred to me: if you are Tiger Woods, why not become Evil Tiger? Think about it, he only has two options. He can go down the usual route and give half-hearted apologies that he does not really mean and live life like a whipped dog or he can become EVIL TIGER! What if he just embraced who he really is and stopped living the lie. He could just leave his wife and kids, move to Vegas, and leave a path of destruction in his wake. He could grow a vicious goatee, shave his head, show off his biceps, and be the baddest golfer that walked the planet. It would be so cool to watch him at tournaments when all the women boo him and the men (secretly) cheer him on. Tiger Woods would be the hero of all frat parties as he can fully live the dream in public. He can get new sponsors, host a show on E, and finally show the world how men really behave. This could be the best move of his life. But, sadly, I do not think that a man named Eldrick can really become "Evil Tiger." Oh well, I like the idea of "evil tiger," what do you think?
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He should write his wife a check for 300 million, divorce her and spend half the year on his yacht on multi day drug and sex benders and then the other half winning majors....I agree he should do it
ReplyDeleteTiger could claim the stress of golfing got to him and caused his "aberrant "behavior. However, he knew he had this behavior before he ever got married. Seems to me he should have known it ultimately could not be kept from the public and perhaps that he could not or would not change his behavior. The sad part is that his children will be the ones to suffer from two parents who play out their anger and revenge in public, later only to be solved by "money." If I were his wife, reconciling would be out of the question. Tiger is not going to change. It is part of his being and he could never be faithful to Elin. How could he truly believe he would never be caught. Sorry state of affairs. No pun intended.
ReplyDeleteHaving Larry Flint as one of the Evil Tiger sponsors just doesn't have the same ring as Gillette or Nike. So I think Tiger will take quite a bit of time off to allow the media frenzy die down and make his come back at the U.S Open WITHOUT Elin at his side. She will be relaxing on the reported 2.6 million dollar home she closed on Dec. 1, 2009 on an island in Sweden. Only way to get there is by boat. It is amazing how the "buzz" that sets the room in an EF Hutton state of mind this month is Tiger!! People cannot get enough of the secret lives of the rich and famous. The 24/7 coverage of Tiger and his sexual rendezvous would be better spent on covering our brave men and women of the United States military. What they do on a daily basis does affect my life as they are defending our freedom. They are the ones that deserve the print as they are true American heros. Not Tiger.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Susan